Hangnail Proposes a Toast

Source: Monomakhos.com

July 4, 2019


“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.”

-St. Peter

“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.” and

“For God and not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

-St. Paul

“I ain’t afraid of no ghost.”

-Ray Parker Jr.

Hangnail Proposes a Toast

(Inspired by the classic work, Screwtape Proposes a Toast, by C.S. Lewis)

“Readers are advised to remember that the devil is a liar. Not everything that Screwtape says should be assumed to be true even from his own angle.”

-C.S. Lewis

In hell, Graduation commencement services for the American College of Demonic Culture had concluded prior. An enormous and well-attended banquet followed. The ACDC President, Dr. Under Ruse, just proposed the health of the guests. Hangnail, Experienced Tempter, Senior Demon, and guest of Honor, rises in response:

Honorable President, Your Imminence, Disgraces, Dark illuminators, Forces Unseen and Shadies; graduating class of 2019, including my own dear Nephew and Valedictorian, Tale Spin. Demons all: I greet you in the name of Our Father Below.

It is customary, on such occasions, one is called upon to address those of you who have just graduated.

Such pleasure is granted to me tonight. Indeed, I have some things to say concerning the state of our efforts. I wish to impress upon you the importance of the work that is before you, as you prepare to launch into your glorious and profitable careers as tempters.

ACDC class of 2019, I commend you. You have joined the ranks of the most notable graduates and tempters of this fine historic institution. This institution, which has helped ensure that human souls stay on the sublime path of the highway to hell,

So we can dine on them, not just for tonight, but forever – throughout the damning age to come.

As tempters, we stand on the shoulders of giants.

As such, I am reminded of my Cousin Screwtape and his Nephew Wormwood across the pond. Their work over the years in Great Britain have made us great beneficiaries of their deeds to this day.

Why, where would we be without their groundbreaking and foundational work in modern androgyny? Or their mastery over such individuals as Crowley?

However, we are not sophisticated and silly Brits. You are the demons of America. As such, your mission is America. Your assignment is both most delightful and extremely important.

Why, you ask?

You see, in capturing America, we are capturing the entire world.

...Read the rest at Monomakhos.com.

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