Archimandrite John (Krestiankin)
Rating: 7,8|Votes: 4
Proof of our rightness in God is a peaceful spirit, which the Holy Spirit generates in the righteous soul. You do not have this peace, which means that you have no rightness. You are governed by fleeting impressions, and do not delve into the depths of God’s judgments, Holy Scripture, and the whole history of the Church which witnesses to them.
Rating: 4,3|Votes: 3
Batiushka, how is it that you do not hear God’s will for you, spoken by the head of the Church: “It means you’ll have to remain here!” It is all the more valuable having been pronounced without any judgment from one or another interested party. You correctly thought at that moment that the question was resolved. But then … then egoism and self-will began their underground work. While His Holiness [the Patriarch] repeatedly confirms what he said according to inspiration: “It’s better for you to stay here.”
Rating: 10|Votes: 5
Receiving the monastic tonsure should be preceded by our resolve for it, expressed not only in the mind and heart, but by our life itself. Therefore, do not rush to take the tonsure, but labor with firmness of will for self-crucifixion, and live monastically in the world, knowing only the institute, home, and church.
Rating: 10|Votes: 3
However, let Holy Hierarch Theophan [the Recluse of Vysha] give you an answer about monasticism. I am sending you his book, Wise Counsels. Read pages 66 through 95 carefully. With respect to work—just as the Lord did not abandon us before, neither will He now. Pray to Holy Martyr Tryphon, and everything will be all right. Do not lose your equilibrium, little one.
Your question about enclosing yourself in a monastery falls away immediately. One should join a monastery not because his family has broken up, but because his heart is burning with the desire to be saved by a hard way, and to serve God undividedly. Seeing as you have not excluded the thought of starting another family, you obviously do not have this desire.