Source: Fr. Joe’s Newsletter - Moving to Russia
June 24, 2025
So a friend of mine—solid Southern Baptist guy—moved to Russia for work, and he said, “I just want to find a church, keep growing spiritually, you know?”
Next thing I know, he’s emailing me like he just stepped out of a Dostoevsky novel. He’s sweating incense and babushkas are haunting his dreams.
So I thought, instead of trying to explain it, I’d just share the letter he sent me.
Brace yourself. This either has to be a comedy monologue or a cry for help.
Dear Brother,
Good evening, or as they say here—dobry vecher, though I accidentally said dobro vetro once, which means “good wind,” and now the old ladies at church call me "The Breeze."
Anyway. I’m an American Baptist who moved to Russia… and decided to start going to an Orthodox church.
I thought I was going to church. Turns out, I accidentally joined a medieval mystery cult.
Let me tell you, first Sunday I showed up, all confident, khakis pressed, Bible in hand, “Hey y’all, where’s the pastor?”
A guy at the candle stand happens to know a little English, and he just blinks at me. “You mean… Father Vladimir?”
“No, I mean the guy who gives the sermon and then we go to brunch.”
He just kind of tilts his head and says, “The sermon will be... after the third litany, between the Gospel reading and the Great Entrance.”
I said, “Right. So... when’s brunch?”
He just handed me a beeswax candle and slowly backed away like I was unstable.
...Read the rest at Fr. Joe’s Newsletter - Moving to Russia.
