Best not to murmur at all
Dear in the Lord E.!
The name of the batiushka who exorcised you was Archimandrite A., now reposed (Schema-Archimandrite, and his assistant was Nun N.).
I cannot tell you the name of the batiushka who gave you Unction, likewise I cannot tell you whether you should murmur against me or against some other person.
But it would be best if you did not murmur against anyone; for now, my dear, you should already know that our life flows in the Stream of God’s Providence, and nothing happens without His holy will.
I will only add that every man goes to meet God’s Providence, and is himself the co-creator of his own life. Thus has it happened with you—the Lord gave you the gift of feeling Divine grace, but you have not yet re-sought it, and life has rolled back into its former rut.
Furthermore, your gift has been stolen through unnecessary conversation—you have been robbed by the enemy. Now, against whom are you complaining? If Fr. A. decided to exorcise you, then surely there was something to exorcise you of. He was a godly elder.
But why remember this now? There is no point in crying over spilt milk.
Thank God that you are with the Church, and you are carrying your heavy cross, albeit with murmuring.
The enemy is watching your good intentions, but you are not entirely plundered, I can assure you of that. Your repentance and ceaseless struggle is accounted to you as deeds done for God’s sake. This is your life’s cross.
Do not despair. Take Communion when you can, no less than every other week, and of course, receive Unction once a year.
Read a chapter of the Gospels and two of the Epistles every day, give your life over to the Lord without murmuring, and willingly bend your neck beneath your life’s cross.
May the Lord give you strength!
Do not be hasty
Slave of God B.!
I will immediately tell you the most important thing: you cannot possibly think about being ordained. This would be a ruinous step for you. As for arranging your life, do not be hasty—nothing has yet been resolved in you. At the present moment, you are ready neither for family life as God’s Law requires it to be, nor for monastic life.
Thus, labor in the church and pray, start little by little to live as a Christian, binding your sinful self-will.
May God give you strength!
Think through each step in a Christian way
Dear in the Lord O.!
Forgive me for the delay in answering your letter, but such are the circumstances; however, I started praying for you right away. Yes, it is hard and painful to put on the bridle of God’s Law, where “playing life” must end and real life must begin, which means bearing your cross. You and your spouse have apparently only entered the outer tabernacle of Christian life and therefore your desires so easily and irresponsibly waver. The fear of God has not yet touched your heart, and you haven’t any concept of eternal life.
Therefore I can only talk about externals. I do not know how your court case ended. I only know that you should not have agreed to a divorce.
You cannot be starting from the beginning throughout your entire life, always skimming the surface. It is high time for you to delve [into life], and to dig into the depths ardently and with much sweat. Keep praying for your husband, and ask the apostle of love, St. John the Theologian, for help. Give yourself also to God’s will, without building any plans for the future. Learn to think through each step in a Christian way.
May God give you wisdom!