Dear in the Lord S.!
Receiving the monastic tonsure should be preceded by our resolve for it, expressed not only in the mind and heart, but by our life itself.
Therefore, do not rush to take the tonsure, but labor with firmness of will for self-crucifixion, and live monastically in the world, knowing only the institute, home, and church.
Then the Lord, seeing your desire, will arrange everything in its own time. And thoughts of marriage do not come up when there is a desire for monasticism.
Hidden in the heart
Slave of God N.!
Peace of soul comes only after a struggle with your passions. In your case, it is easier to do this not in a monastery, but at home. Therefore, live with your mother, and try to be a true Christian daughter.
The future is in God’s hands. The Lord will see what will ripen in your heart with time.
Monasticism is not only black clothing, but first and foremost what is hidden in the heart. Clothing is only external and does not always express the true essence. Live with your mother.
May God give you wisdom!
Monasticism is not just clothing
Dear M. and P.!
It is not within my power to fulfill your request. If you were to ask my advice about the thing you have decided to do, I would not advise you to do it.
Monasticism is not just clothing—it is extreme podvig of life. M. can no longer bind herself with monastic podvig due to her health condition. The Lord has given both of you a path to salvation which is brief and clear—M. to bear the burden of illness without murmuring, and you, her husband, to take care of a sick wife—also without murmuring.
Bear your podvig of married life to the end, and the Lord will determine the future when one of you has departed.