Dear in the Lord S. B.!
I am forwarding to you my gratitude for the signs of attention and love which I received from you just after your departure. But sorrow casts a shadow upon my joy over your magnanimity, because I was not able to give you a warm welcome and hospitality. My aged infirmities have become stronger than my hearty spirit, and this is a cause for no little sorrow. I love to be cheered and to cheer, but lately it’s been mostly the former. I especially thank you for the icon of my heavenly protector, who received me at the monastic tonsure. The icon is in my cell, as well as the name of the one whose love gave it to me. The list of names that you sent with it are included in my commemoration book. At least this prayerful memory of you and your close ones will respond to your gift of love. I prayerfully wish you good success in all things.
God’s blessing be with you.
Listen to your parents
You are not telling the truth, T.! You do not want to follow after Christ, because you are following after your lusts in your life, trampling upon the laws given by Christ. Who starts a family without his parents’ blessing? Who does not want to take into account the rules of the Church which state that between spouses there should be no more than five year’s difference, plus or minus, in age?
No, I can’t help you. For the lying, deceit, and evil which has overgrown you and with which you have linked yourself can be uprooted only by your own podvigs in life, about which you have completely forgotten. Therefore, dear T., be more attentive to yourself, beginning by not deepening the mistakes you have already made. Then beware of making the new ones that you are already contemplating, namely, dropping your studies. After all, your mother was right. It is hard to combine studies with family life. Furthermore, do not depart from your mother’s help and counsel. God has given her to know more about you than anyone else.
Cling to the Lord
After all, you are living without God. You are drowning in the swirling sea, being on the ship of the Church, and forgetting that it has a Rudder. You need to cling to the Lord, believe in Him and trust in Him, not reading the Gospels and prayers as a formality, but turning to the living God. The Lord will grant and send you a spiritual father when you turn to the Lord.
Read a chapter of the Gospels every day, and two chapters from the Epistles, as well as the short, little morning and evening rule.
Receive Holy Communion every two weeks. Begin to think about what the Lord is saying to you in the Gospels for the day, not distractedly, but concretely. It is the enemy that tries to exhaust your soul with despondency, killing the living sprout in your soul.
We will pray for you.