Young men giving up on marriage: ‘Women aren’t women anymore’

January 10, 2013

Fewer young men in the US want to get married than ever, while the desire for marriage is rising among young women, according to the Pew Research Center.

Pew recently found that the number of women 18-34 saying that having a successful marriage is one of the most important things rose from 28 percent to 37 percent since 1997. The number of young adult men saying the same thing dropped from 35 percent to 29 percent in the same time.

Pew’s findings have caught the attention of one US writer who maintains that feminism, deeply entrenched in every segment of the culture, has created an environment in which young men find it more beneficial to simply opt out of couple-dom entirely.

Suzanne Venker’s article, "The War on Men ", which appeared on the website of Fox News in late November, has become a lodestone for feminist writers who have attacked her position that the institution of marriage is threatened, not enhanced, by the supposed gains of the feminist movement over the last 50 years.

“Where have all the good (meaning marriageable) men gone?” is a question much talked about lately in the secular media, Venker says, but her answer, backed up by statistics, is not to the liking of mainstream commentators influenced by feminism.

She points out that for the first time in US history, the number of women in the workforce has surpassed the number of men, while more women than men are acquiring university degrees.

“The problem? This new phenomenon has changed the dance between men and women,” Venker wrote. With feminism pushing them out of their traditional role of breadwinner, protector and provider – and divorce laws increasingly creating a dangerously precarious financial prospect for the men cut loose from marriage – men are simply no longer finding any benefit in it.

As a writer and researcher into the trends of marriage and relationships, Venker said, she has “accidentally stumbled upon a subculture” of men who say “in no uncertain terms, that they’re never getting married.”

“When I ask them why, the answer is always the same: women aren’t women anymore.” Feminism, which teaches women to think of men as the enemy, has made women “angry” and “defensive, though often unknowingly.”

“Now the men have nowhere to go. It is precisely this dynamic – women good/men bad – that has destroyed the relationship between the sexes. Yet somehow, men are still to blame when love goes awry.”

“Men are tired,” Venker wrote. “Tired of being told there’s something fundamentally wrong with them. Tired of being told that if women aren’t happy, it’s men’s fault.”

Feminism and the sexual revolution have simply made marriage “obsolete” for women as a social and economic refuge, but this is a situation that should not be celebrated by feminists, Venker says.

“It’s the women who lose. Not only are they saddled with the consequences of sex, by dismissing male nature they’re forever seeking a balanced life. The fact is, women need men’s linear career goals – they need men to pick up the slack at the office – in order to live the balanced life they seek.”

A cross section of research data from the Pew Research Center for the last months of 2012 shows the alarming trends for marriage and child-bearing in the US. One report published in mid-December said that the latest census data showed “barely half” of all adults in the United States are currently married, a “record low”. Since 1960, the number of married adults has decreased from 72 percent to 51 today and the number of new marriages in the U.S. declined by five percent between 2009 and 2010.

Moreover, the median age at first marriage continues to rise with women getting married the first time at 26.5 years and men at 28.7. The declines in marriage are “most dramatic” among young adults. Just 20 percent of those aged 18 to 29 are married, compared with 59 percent in 1960.

“If current trends continue, the share of adults who are currently married will drop to below half within a few years,” the report said.

Moreover, the link between marriage and childrearing has become disconnected in the minds of the so-called Millennial generation, those between 18 and 29. While 52 percent of Millennials say being a good parent is “one of the most important things” in life, just 30 per cent say the same about having a successful marriage, an attitudinal survey found.

The gap, of 22 percentage points, between the value Millennials place on parenthood over marriage, was just 7 points in 1997. The research found that Millennials, many of whom are the children of divorce and single-parenthood themselves, are also less likely than their elders to say that a child needs both a father and mother at home, that single parenthood and unmarried couple parenthood are bad for society.

Hilary White



Wilhelma3/16/2019 2:08 pm
TruthIs: Yes, and the real men are also an endangered species. One problem begets another--perhaps women started seeking more independence partly due to the underlying feeling that their men may not be there to take care of them "'til death do us part". The general break up of family values, where a man can very easily leave his wife and children and run off with a younger woman, has also caused women's feelings of insecurity.
Truth Is3/16/2019 1:21 pm
Years ago most women were certainly Real Ladies and the very complete opposite of today. Today what in the world happened to them? Feminism took over which is why many of us men can't meet a good woman anymore.
Feminism Is Evil3/8/2019 6:26 pm
Well first of all there are a lot of women that really hate us men since they're without a doubt real feminists to begin with unfortunately. The have no manners and no personality at all when it comes to most of us single men trying to start a conversation with a woman that we think would really be nice to meet. Most women are just so very horrible nowadays, and very stuck up as well. So this really does make it very impossible for many of us good single men really looking for a very serious relationship today. Feminism is very evil which it is these type of women that have really destroyed the dating scene altogether now for many of us men. These women most likely have a mental illness too.
Rebecca3/8/2019 6:42 am
I think any woman/man that fear God are perfect for each other. When it comes to marriage, if God is first it makes it easier to not put our selfish desires first. A man who fears God will take care of his wife so she feels stable and during hard times won’t put it on his family but trust in God alone. A woman who fears God will assist her husband (not as a slave), but to make him more intelligent and make the best decisions for the family. A wife will build a house if her husband is doing his part making her feel secure and loved and vice-versa. If the woman is doing whatever she wants the man is not going to respect his wife or trust her.
Persius-enlightened12/8/2018 8:43 am
Lauren said "HOWEVER is it fair for women to work, cook, clean, take care of appointments, raise children AND physically have them? No it’s not because men are just expected to work. Do you see the inequality?"
If the woman does not work outside the home than it is fair. If the woman does work then some of the work or chores can be shared with her husband. One question though does the wife ever help the man do the "man chores"? You know fixing the house, maintaining vehicles, mowing lawns, landscaping and many other chores men exclusively do. Yet I never hear male coworkers complaining that the wife does not help with the man chores. People need to grow up, relationships take work to work.
Kelly11/12/2018 11:19 pm
I am a woman in my mid 20s and I definitely don’t want to get married. I don’t see the point of it. Financially, it can be a huge mess. Also I enjoy dating and meeting new and exciting people often, so why would I want to be tied down? I don’t need a man to take care of me and I am glad that I don’t have a man to take care of either. I like to be independent and go on fun adventures.
Lauren8/24/2018 6:17 pm
Angry feminists aren’t feminists, they are just angry. Women AND men are affected by modern day idealism. It’s trendy to be gay and women don’t need men at all now. HOWEVER, men do not need women either-the difference is they never did but women did need men-we were not allowed to work or vote. Understand? We are now equal in that respect and women DESERVE that equality. Men need to stop being angry about that. Also, there are feminine women who want marriage, children, and to be homemakers-HOWEVER is it fair for women to work, cook, clean, take care of appointments, raise children AND physically have them? No it’s not because men are just expected to work. Do you see the inequality?
MGTOW Hero8/19/2018 1:22 pm
The dynamic has definitely changed. For the worst! All this gender bending gay garbage is destroying what is left of normal heterosexual interactions. This includes anything between man and woman. Sadly, women are not valuing men anymore and hate them thanks to feminism. Aka, cancer and AIDS. MEN, YOU ARE THE PRIZE, PUMP AND DUMP AND LET THESE **** FEND FOR THEMSELVES.
Icela8/13/2018 5:45 am
guys, I have to say: you're wrong that straight women don't need men. We need you socially, monetarily, sexually, for protection - for everything. Whatever the culture is telling you, women are thinking about you at night.
I think that if you aim for women of higher intelligence, and stop trying to date 10 years + younger, you'll find the more mature women who are your intellectual equals, and perhaps a bit more humbled by life, and not using you for your money and status - you'll find the women who are actually attracted to you physically.
95% of men these days refuse to even talk to women their own age. it's a great place to start.
eddie4/10/2018 11:26 am
women today have priced themselves out of the market of been mothers or wives and soon to be employees too that corporations are already clamping down on due to false claims for insurance or purjery and false rape accusations that multiply actual rapes. men realise now they ow women nothing as enough of them took the hit for women and ended up in poverty or dead. men are not tired at all men are waking up they dont ow women anything now. men dont even want to help women or talk to them much anymore. also women wouldnt of climbed the corporate ladder only for the war paint they throw on their faces and cash in before they hit the wall and men are also seen they fell for this too for to long
Earl3/30/2018 5:18 am
I agree completely. The symbiotic interaction between men and and women is gone, since feminism placed women in competition with men. Affirmative action and diversity were implemented to assure the women's victory over, and displacement of, men at work.

Men are also not marrying out of fear of getting raped in divorce court. The changed cultural norms have made women dangerous to be around, so many other men are refusing to deal with women at all.

The Democratic Party focuses on the welfare of women, but not men. They passed the Violence Against Women Act, and refused to allow the public testimony of men's groups that domestic violence was equal between the sexes.

Robert P3/26/2018 8:38 pm
Women don't need men, to have families. Women don't need men to be the bread winners. Science, has screwed it up for men, and for the traditional "family", in general. Women can be single mom's, by choice. Marriage, isn't necessary, anymore, with common law relationships, or just cohabitation, becoming common. It seems, men have outlived their usefulness. That being said, I think Al Bundy said it best. "A man can do the job, and you can't take a battery home to meet your mother".
Eli2/6/2018 11:59 am
Now this trend is happening in India as well. Expectations of woman have gone high. They want guys who are well settled and with girls taking away jobs and getting positions men are no where. Woman don't want to do any house work just want to enjoy life buy expensive clothings eat outside. They are afraid to face struggle. They thing managing house is not their work. With divorce cases in rise among educated people. Now many men's in their 40s dont want to marry any longer. This is a dangerous sign. Men feel it's better to live alone peacefully. Women are crossing their limits nowadays men are not their enemies.
VeryTrue5/7/2015 3:14 pm
Well certainly Not these days, that is for sure.
mike2/10/2015 8:57 am
Feminists are poison. You have equality but you won't accept it you want superiority and that quality in people I do distrust because Hitler and Stalin both had that quality too. I don't hate women I hate feminists I want to make that abundantly clear before you start spouting your insipidous hate towards me
cream9/26/2014 3:56 pm
As long as the laws favor women things will only get worst.
David Champ8/23/2014 9:52 am
I live in prince William county in Virginia the woman here are hostile disrespectful and mean I see them I n the stores and the malls they walk around with their noses in the air and they wont even look at you twice guys if you want to marry don't come here to Virginia the woman here are snotty and stuck up.
I married a lady from argintina two years ago she loves me and treats me like a man woman are not finding men and ill tell you why its not the result of men not hating woman its the resentment brought on by 60 years of brainwashing and bullying by the feminist dominated teachers unions and their male running dogs
dekloesel@gmail.com4/17/2014 8:41 pm
Men are tired? Seriously??! What's it been, a few decades?
Women have been scrutinized and subjected to significantly worse bullshit for hundreds of years. Women are tired of men blaming women because men don't want to get with the times and accept change. Men and women should be treated equal. Yes that changes relationship dynamics BECAUSE these so-called 'desirable' dynamics were based on the man being superior and the female catering to his whims. So sorry men that you miss this. So sorry that you feel entitled to this when you actually don't. Stop bitching and get with the times.
AB3/22/2013 2:31 am
Sabrina - your comments alone show how true the article is - they are angry and defensive, and you don't seem to know it.

"Feminism, which teaches women to think of men as the enemy, has made women “angry” and “defensive, though often unknowingly.”"
Sabrina1/24/2013 4:33 am
This article is full of alarmist anti-woman propoganda, and it actually qoted FOX news! Seriously? That takes down the credibility of this article by at least 10% If there is a decline in marriage (and I sort of doubt it because the wedding industry remains a multi-BILLION dollar industry in the USA alone), I say much has to do with the fact that too many of the young men of today are afraid of commitment and are "machos" chauvenists who want to keep women down. Some men love to accuse women of hating them, but the reality is that they hate and distrust women. Those specific men are just as much to blame as the women whom they are blaming. Seems to me some men are just as angry and and mistrustful of women as vice versa. Instead of entering a relationship where both should be 'submitting to each other as it says in Ephesians 5:21, they'd rather be selfish playboys out there sleeping around, or still live at home with their parents and never have to take on adult responsibilities. It's better not to marry at all than marry the wrong person...and some of those of the men in this article with their sexist and rude comments are decidedly the wrong kinds of men to marry!
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