Metropolitan Luke (Kovalenko)
Christ is in our midst, my dear readers!
Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man (Col. 4:6), teaches the Apostle Paul. Speech is our main means of communication, and it is precisely speech that can build up or destroy, bring light or utter darkness. The Apostle Paul is speaking about everyday speech—the words we use in all of life’s ordinary situations. Even the simplest words we say on the phone, in a shop, or type in comments should be filled with grace. Every word of ours should bear witness to God’s presence in our life. That means it should contain stillness, peace, love, meekness, and humility.
If we speak with irritation, malice, hatred, and the like, this testifies that an evil spirit lives in our heart. The Apostle Paul says that speech must be with salt, not with sugar. Our speech should not be cloyingly sweet, but moderately salty. There can’t be too much salt in the sense that it prevents the soul from rotting and decaying. But if you oversalt your words, they become harsh and severe. If you oversweeten them, they begin to corrupt by their softness and lack of grace.
That is why good measure is so important—not only in the quality, but also in the quantity of words. There should not be too many, but not too few either. The Apostle Paul says, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man. Our speech must be living and flexible. There is no single standard of communication that would be suitable for every hearer. Our interaction with others must be such that different people can each receive, in their own way, the grace that ought to be contained in our words.
The Apostle preached differently to different people. He adapted his words depending on the ear of the listener. Christ commanded: Be ye wise as serpents, and harmless as doves—which means that in one and the same word meekness of heart and discernment of mind must be combined. Some people have a “thick-skinned” heart and need heavier words; others have a delicately tuned soul, and with them one must speak very carefully. The main thing in all of this is to act with love. True love does not speak the same way to “everyone.” It seeks a way to reach a particular person. The Apostle Paul could speak in the Areopagus with great tact, and he could also call things by their proper names.
Sadly, we live in a time when words run ahead of thoughts. People speak and act, guided by nervous impulses rather than by the mind and sound reason. Even those who are vested in priestly garments sit in social networks and, instead of praying, weave great webs of graceless words. People throw words at one another like stones, because they react to everything not prayerfully, but emotionally. And emotions drag behind them malice, the desire to insult, humiliate, to win an argument at any cost.
That is why the Apostle teaches us not only to speak, but also to wait for the right moment, to endure a pause. Before saying anything, to say at least the Jesus Prayer several times. When necessary, it is better to be silent—for the sake of peace and salvation. Not to “cut the naked truth” when it will harm a person’s soul. Not to get into conflicts over trifles, and not to give reasons for discord.
A word with grace is not “sweet talk”—it is the depth of the heart that asks: “For whose sake and for what purpose are you saying these words?” If the goal is self-assertion, then the salt turns into vinegar. If the goal is to bring a person to God, then the word becomes both gentle and strong at the same time, containing a quiet firmness. Then it has the power to enter the soul and not wound, but heal.
How I wish that we would learn, before every word, comment, message, or argument, to ask ourselves: Does my word bear light? Does it bear grace? Or is it born of irritation? Is there in it salt—measure, discernment, wisdom? If we maintain this inner discipline, then our word will become a means of building up. Not a weapon, not fury, not a mere impulse—but a conduit of love. Then our word will be from God, and people near us will begin to feel that it has become easier to breathe in our presence—because near us irritation is not boiling, but grace is quietly at work.
