Imagine an ordinary morning. You’re just minding your own business with peace in your soul. But out of the blue, you receive a verbal punch in the gut. Someone—perhaps someone you are completely unacquainted with, or someone who you’ve never crossed paths with before—begins to publicly call you names at the top of his voice, mock the way you walk, or simply start spitting bile.
Your first reaction is shock. The second is to take offense, thinking, “Why? I didn’t touch him!” and the third is the desire to answer this heckler with a choice phrase or two that will leave him speechless…
Wait! Let’s take a deep breath and peek behind the curtain of this absurd scene. In the spiritual world there is no such thing as a coincidence. If the Lord allowed this “actor” to make his entrance onto the stage of your life, there must be a deep meaning and purpose to this subplot.
It’s easy to think ourselves humble when we’re standing in church surrounded by the fragrance of incense and our brothers and sisters in Christ smile at us. But what is the value of this humility if it falls to pieces when a single stranger yells at us somewhere outside?
This unexpected provocateur is our personal “spiritual trainer”. He’s checking to see what your dignity is really founded on. If you start steaming out the ears and foaming at the mouth from name-calling, common rudeness or some other mean thing, that means that your pride has you by the throat in an iron grip. Hecklers just hold up a mirror to our souls and say, “Look, right here your vainglory is bleeding, Here, you’re a slave to the opinions of others and here you are dependent not on what Christ sees, but on whatever a passerby yells out.”
Rudeness of course, is an experience common to everyone—both atheists and believers. Here we are all in the same boat. But for a practicing Orthodox Christian, any “attack” of this kind is not a simple coincidence, but a particular, deep meaning. We all know this although sometimes we, so to speak “forget” it. We don’t always succeed at taking control of ourselves and avoiding sin.
However there are other cases as well, real miracles when we can see how sparks are flying, people are on edge and getting worked up, abusive words are flying through the air and hitting every last person. And we pass through the storm completely untouched, as if behind an invisible shield. The complete opposite also happens. In a group of people or in a line, troublemakers seem to have built-in Christian-detectors.
In a group of people or in a line, troublemakers seem to have built-in Christian-detectors.
The very moment someone decides to live differently, stops swearing, becomes purer, those around them seem to try to get under his skin on purpose, as if saying, “Well, how’s your faith going? Let’s see how you’ll react to this!” This is the moment of truth. Either you answer “like anyone would,” or something else wins inside you, something more important and more peaceful.
The quiet faith of a Christian or even just the lack of anger in his eyes act like a bright flashlight pointed in the face of someone used to living in spiritual gloom. It’s irritating. It arouses a desire to take him down a notch, to get him dirty, so as not to feel inferior in comparison. The bullying is a symptom of his personal catastrophe.
And now for the most important thing. We often look at this situation from the point of view of a victim, thinking of ourselves as having been hurt. But let’s try to look at this situation from a spiritual point of view.
It is possible that the heckler has absolute chaos for a life. Maybe no-one prays at home, his soul is a dried up desert, his nerves are on the edge. He’s sinking to the bottom like an unconscious casualty of a shipwreck. But the Lord wants the salvation of each person. How can such a poor guy be helped? After all, he won’t even cross the threshold of a church.
It’s possible that God weaves our lives together at this point with an invisible thread through such encounters. The heckler becomes our “spiritual beggar” who came to beg alms. Yes, he asks clumsily, through spits and jeers, simply because he doesn’t know any other way. His tongue knows only curses, but his soul cries out, “Pray for me, I can’t pray for myself!”
This is our “Tithe of prayer”. We give away some of our peace of mind for the sake of the wounded soul of our neighbor. Our prayer “Lord, bring peace to his heart, enlighten his reason”, perhaps acts as an injection of peace. It’s possible that in the evening, when he comes home, this heckler will feel, for the first time in a long time, a strange peace or a sudden prick of shame. That moment of peace is just that crack through which God can slip in. Maybe a hundred such injections will be necessary… but they won’t be in vain.
Aggression is defanged through pity. Would you get offended at a psychiatric patient if he called you a ”cucumber”, for instance? Not likely. You would pity him. We should look at an offender as at someone who is spiritually disabled, who has malice in place of crutches.
We should look at an offender like at someone who is spiritually disabled, who has malice in place of crutches.
When you are tempted, begin to say the Jesus prayer or any other prayer inside yourself. Not only for the sake of your heckler, but for yourself as well, so that poison won’t seep into your heart.
As long as we are afraid of name-calling, we are slaves of man. When we stop caring what they yell about us in a crowd or what they say behind our backs, caring only that God will consider us His own, we will be free!
At Liturgy, when the proclamations ring out, let’s remember our heckler who “did us dirty”. Not as an enemy but as a “spiritual beggar” who was given into our care as someone to pray for. Bring his name to the throne of God. Let us bring to God, along with our candles, our injured sense of honor.
And if, right now, in this period of your life, there is someone who methodically annoys you and poisons your days with petty quibbles or public ridicule, remember: You are not a victim. You are an intercessor. And this is a great honor!
