It is impossible to speak about light, while the action of darkness, sin, and death live in us constantly, daily. But those rare precious moments when God touches your sick soul are that life that is God’s gift, God’s light. And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not (Jn. 1:5). These moments sanctify your entire life, they change you and make you capable of seeing Divine beauty in your neighbor, of overcoming your death, of believing in the Resurrection.
The light is life, darkness is death. When light is seen in a man, everything around him is bright. Everything a man amasses in his heart, everything he collects at the crossroads of this world, is reflected in his life, in his words, in his look. There is a natural light, where those who try to live according to conscience, according to human truth are found. But this light is mutable. The light of a soul that does not know God is inconstant. And often a man who admires the light of his own soul, his own good deeds, “his” righteousness, finds himself in the darkness of the pride of his ego. This light is blinding and often leads to such myopia of soul that a self-satisfied person doesn’t even see those closest to him. But there is the light of God, the light of Divine love. It is the action of God in man, it is the gift of God, saving man from eternal darkness; it is the love of God for His creation.
The Lord has shown me this light in people who have changed, who have been transfigured, and who have themselves become sources of God’s light and love. The first time I went to the island of Zalit to see Fr. Nikolai Guryanov, he was serving the Divine Liturgy. The elder came out to commune the people. While communing children, his face was transfigured. If I had seen it alone, I could say it was my imagination, but there was a deeply religious man next to me, and at that moment we looked at one another, then at the elder’s face. “Look at Fr. Nikolai’s face!” we said to each other, and it was already the face of a saint. His face was shining, and the light of this radiance touched my very heart. I arrived there in darkness. I was in a hopeless state. I felt a kind of impasse and couldn’t see a way out of this situation by human standards. But when the Lord revealed the beauty of God in man, all bad things went away, the Divine light immediately penetrated into my heart, and a great joy appeared in my soul. This joy is Paschal—the joy of life, of the Resurrection. Everything dark disappeared. This is probably the action of God Himself, Who reveals the beauty of eternal love already in this world.
I saw a similar light in another person—in an elderly priest who really loved children and animals and was simple and sincere in his relations with people. And amazingly, he looked like Fr. Nikolai at that moment.
I have noticed that the faces of various people, all under the influence of the light of God, become the same—they become like the face of Christ. After you see this, there is a fullness in your heart; not just joy, but a fullness: Everything is clear, there are no questions, confusions, or guesswork. There is a piece of God in such light, and where God is, there is fullness. Divine light is in every person, but sometimes it’s difficult for this light to break through the mask that sin puts on your face. The holy face becomes just a face, the eyes grow dim, the face turns black, and the eyes are empty.
I think that everything living, everything real in this world is sustained by the light of God, the light of God’s love. The holy fathers say that if the grace of God were to leave the world, it would perish immediately. That means there is light as long as the world continues its path in time and space, and there is hope for the salvation of souls that come to God. And when a man gives all of himself to his Creator, in moments of special contact from God, this light is manifested in all its strength and gives strength to other people to live. In this world, man lives in the darkness of sin, the passions, self-deception, and our nature is damaged by sin; and if the Divine light sometimes does not break into our hearts, is not revealed to our eyes, does not enlighten our minds, and we would never see it, then we would be in hopeless anguish and despondency, and no hope for salvation would remain in this world.
To see the light in man means to see God, to touch His love.
“I look for the resurrection of the dead and the light of the world to come.”
Amen.
