Nathan rebukes David by Angelica Kauffman
Question: What is the right way to rebuke someone if you consider that he’s in error, so that he won’t be offended? Or is it better not to criticize?
I would say generally that we should rebuke in such a way that the person would then run off with joy to correct himself. If you don’t have enough love to rebuke in that way, in a way that would inspire a person to be transformed, I would advise you to be silent.
But here there are a mass of nuances and particulars—what do you mean by the word “rebuke” and who you intend to rebuke. If you are a supervisor or a teacher, it is your duty to point out the mistakes of your students or subordinates. I’ve mentioned above how to do it.
If a person is obviously doing something wrong, something that, say, bothers other people, then yes, it is worth saying something about it to him or giving him a hint. Most often it is best to do it eye to eye. In some extreme situation, when you have to act here and now, you should act here and now (like for example if a man has decided to fix a electrical socket but isn’t observing safety rules, you have to get him away from the socket right away).
If you’re talking about some disagreement, for example: You consider that the other is wrong, while he thinks he’s right, and there is no one norm in society concerning this, then we are not talking about rebukes but rather, “synchronizing watches”. You can talk with him about how your point of view differs from his and you would like to clarify which one is right. It’s not a foregone conclusion that your position it the correct one, or that only one position would be right.
