Recently, Advent calendars for children, containing various kinds of tasks for the period preceding Christmas, have become widely known.
A few years agoб it occurred to me to create a spiritual Advent calendar for my family. Of course, the idea was not new, but there are no small children in our family, so the goal was initially to create a tool for adult spiritual life.
In the first year I took forty texts (one for each day of the Nativity Fast) from the Gospel and from the Epistles.
As a result, I made forty slips of paper, which I put into small bags, numbering them with the days of the fast. Every morning our whole family took out a slip with the text, read it aloud and accepted it as an instruction for the day.
But, judging by the results of the first Nativity Fast I noticed that, after reading the New Testament passage, my family did not understand very clearly how they should apply it in their daily life. They usually contented themselves with a sincere sigh: “Oh, that’s right!”, and... nothing changed.
The next year I did a slightly different thing for the Nativity Fast. I formulated (again, based on the New Testament verses or on Patristic instructions) forty specific tasks, arranging them by the days of the fast. Each task included one or another spiritual and moral exercise.
My family liked it, and their interest in the slips immediately increased dramatically. They felt what Archpriest Dimitry Smirnov once called “a taste for fulfilling the commandments”.
I arranged the tasks in order of complexity, from fairly easy (refrain from rudeness, watch your tongue) to more complicated (prepare for confession very thoroughly).
We had three options for arranging the tasks by days.
1. Each day of the Nativity Fast corresponds to one slip, and in this case they are taken in ascending order.
2. All the slips are mixed, and every morning one is taken out at random.
3. Each family member takes out a slip, which becomes his personal task for the day.
You can do this: you ask your folks to give any number, and then you read out loud what task is under this number (if there are young children in your family, they will appreciate this element of game and unpredictability).
In the morning it is rather hard to find a minute to read out a common task for everybody or discuss the task assigned to each family member. But if you manage to give some time to this, it will be wonderful.
It can be preceded by a short prayer, in which we recall the event we are preparing for. For example:
“Lord, vouchsafe me to offer Thee, Who art coming into the world, this first (second, third, etc.) day of fasting as a gift. May it not be tainted by self-love, selfishness, pride, and negligence, but may it be full of deeds, words, and thoughts that testify to my faith, faithfulness, and love. I am offering my desire and efforts, and Thou, O Lord, help me with Thy grace and strength. Amen.”
It is advisable to introduce the practice of summarizing everything in the evening, otherwise the morning tasks risk turning into just a beautiful text, but, alas, devoid of connection with real life.
Actually, it’s a wonderful practice to analyze every evening how you lived that day.
“Repentance, befitting a pious Christian living in the midst of the world, must be checked against his conscience every evening,” the Holy Hierarch Ignatius (Brianchaninov) writes.
Then, perhaps, from the state of “living carelessly” we will be able to make a real leap to a conscious, disciplined and attentive life (according to the Holy Fathers, this is the root of and key to a successful spiritual life).
By the way, for each more or less successful day you can invite your children to string bright beads on a thread to make an ornate garland for Christmas, which can be offered as a gift to Christ (your family may have a custom of installing it at the Nativity scene, for example).
Below we offer an approximate list of forty tasks. (Some, dedicated to particularly important aspects of everyday life, are given in several versions).
The tasks are loosely divided into three groups.
1. The first group, focused on fighting bad habits (in the language of asceticism, the passions).
2. The second group, dedicated to cultivating good habits (virtues).
3. Closer to the Nativity there are several tasks aimed at what Holy Hierarch Theophan the Recluse calls Divine contemplation and is dedicated to the sacraments of confession (repentance), Holy Communion, as well as prayer and the coming of Christ into the world.
Forty tasks for the Nativity Fast
1. Today I will try to work especially hard to acquire unwavering patience, no matter what may happen during the day. I will try to keep my spirits up and maintain inner balance, be peaceful and cheerful.
2. Today I will pay special attention to reading and hearing the Word of God. I will try to take today’s Gospel passage as if Christ Himself were addressing me personally. During the day I will return to it mentally and compare my actions, words and thoughts with it, so that these words may not remain fruitless in me.
3. Today I will try my best to preserve peace in my heart, in my relationships with my neighbors (by this I mean maintaining benevolence regardless of circumstances) and in my relationship with God (on committing the slightest sin I will immediately ask forgiveness in my mind and so maintain a living contact with the Lord).
4. Today I’m going to focus on my tongue. I forbid myself to be harsh, pull others up sharply, slander anyone, or make bad jokes—in other words, anything that can embarrass or upset my neighbor.
5. Today I will forbid myself to judge others in any form, because you can judge without words—with your look or gesture.
6. Today I will practice sensitivity and kindness. I will be especially responsive to the requests and words of my neighbors.
7. Today I will strive in every possible way to maintain a joyful, peaceful, and cheerful spirit, and drive away despondency and depression from myself, under whatever guise they may appear.
8. Today I will try to turn to the Lord with this short prayer as often as possible: “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.” If I have neither purity of heart nor true repentance, at least I have a tongue and a mouth. I will use them to offer Him prayer.
9. Today I will try especially hard to learn concentrated, sincere and living prayer. I will not allow myself to be hasty and careless, but will really put myself in the presence of the Living God.
10. Today I will try to learn obedience. I will make efforts to fulfill any reasonable requests of my loved ones. I will faithfully complete any task assigned to me, small or great.
11. Today I will work on cultivating meekness; I will try to keep peace in my heart and make concessions to all the shortcomings of my neighbors, forgiving them eagerly.
12. Today I will work to acquire love, its first step; and I will refrain from anything that can spoil my neighbor’s mood. I will do everything I can to make life in my family joyful and beautiful.
13. Today I will think about the first beatitude and work on cultivating mercy. I will keep in mind throughout the day the words of Christ, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these My brethren, ye have done it unto Me (Mt. 25:40), and will be guided by them in all my deeds and words.
14. Today I will think seriously about the meaning of the Nativity, which I am walking towards. Perhaps for the first time in my life I will thank Christ for His incarnation for me personally. I will try to realize that He is coming for me, so that a feeling of living gratitude to Him, which is the root and source of all good things, can finally appear in my heart.
15. Today I will work on fulfilling the sixth beatitude—acquiring purity of heart. I will be especially intolerant of everything that pollutes my soul from the outside (through my eyes and ears) and from the inside (through my thoughts), and I will remember that not only sinful thoughts, but also selfishness, anger, impatience, and negligence also cause impurity of soul.
16. Today I will try to practice the memory of God all day long: I will keep in mind that the Lord is closer to me than my breath, but I will do it in such a way that His presence may not trouble me, but fill me with joy and inspiration. I remembered God, and was gladdened (Ps. 76:4). I will try to please Him with everything I do, say and think.
17. Today I will struggle with my shortcoming that most often become a source of arguments in my family. I will try to understand where and how I personally open the doors through which the freezing wind of nervousness, harshness or pedantry bursts into my family, remembering the words of St. Theophan the Recluse: “He who lives in the family is saved by the family virtues.”
18. Today I will learn obedience to my favorite saint. In the morning I will open and read any of his teachings, and then I will try to keep it in mind and follow it all day long.
19. Today I will talk to God in my own words, thank Him for becoming Man, and ask Him what He would most like to receive from me on Christmas Night, with what gifts in my heart He wants to see me then. My conscience will tell me the answer.
20. Today, fulfilling the Apostle Paul’s words, I will do everything for God’s sake, remembering that He attributes everything done for the sake of others to His account. (Unfortunately, this concerns bad things as well).
21. The whole day today I will take special care not to upset the Lord—neither through committing any sin, nor through causing distress to my neighbor. If I am unable to control myself and I do or say something bad, I will immediately apologize to God and begin to be attentive to my inner self again.
22. Today I will be guided in my behavior by the third beatitude. I will be gentle in my words, calm in my actions, unperturbed in any circumstances, and peaceful with myself and others alike. By at least forcing myself, even my heart is not in it, I will remain meek.
23. Today I will focus on self-control, keep my inner balance, and not lose my temper, no matter what I may be faced with during the day, regardless of circumstances; for what is commendable about staying afloat in a calm?
24. Today I will work especially hard on remaining watchful. Once I notice judging, rancor, indifference, callousness, gloating, selfishness and touchiness in my heart and mind, I will cut them off.
25. Today I will try to address the Most Holy Theotokos as often as possible with the angelic greeting: “Rejoice, O Virgin Theotokos!” or, “Mother of God, help me be Thy pure son (daughter).”
26. This morning I will pray especially diligently to the Holy Spirit with the prayer, “O Heavenly King”. And throughout the day I will try to repeat it in my mind as often as possible, asking for grace, strength, peace and joy from the Lord. In this way I will train my soul to be in Living contact with the Source of the Grace of God.
27. Today I will try to focus on the fulfillment of the Apostle Paul’s words, Bear ye one another’s burdens (Gal. 6:2), and respond to all the shortcomings, requests and even whims of my close ones with the utmost love, hoping that in this way I will fulfill the Law of Christ.
28. Today I will think seriously about my repentance. How carefully do I prepare for confession? Isn’t it time for me to do some “spring cleaning” in my soul? And not only will I carefully write down all the sins that I hadn’t realized before, but I will also understand what creates them, getting to the root of the problem and fighting it.
29. Today I will reflect more on Holy Communion. Among other things, the Lord became an Infant in order to give me His Body and Blood. So, the Nativity opens the gate of the Liturgy before me. Every time during Communion, Christ trustfully hands Himself over to me, just as He gave Himself into the hands of Righteous Simeon the God-Receiver. From this thought I will draw gratitude to the Savior and beware of defiling myself with sins, since He entrusts Himself to me in this way.
30. Today I will ponder over the words of the prayer before Communion: “For I will not speak of Thy Mysteries to Thine enemies”. Am I truly not colluding with the enemies of Christ in deed, word, or thought, often even on the very day of Communion? I will try to keep faith and faithfulness to the One I am partaking of in all things, small and great.
31. Today I will meditate on the fact that God wants to see me happy, and the Beatitudes are the way to happiness. Therefore, I will think a lot about how I fulfill them. Do I remember them? Do I repeat them every morning when I wake up so that they, like a map, can always be in front of me? Am I working to acquire humility, repentance, longing for God, meekness, peace, purity, mercy and patience?
32. Today I will try to determine which sin separates me from God the most and steals Him from me when I take Communion. I will try to bring my reflection to the point of aversion to this sin. This will be the starting point for my deliverance from it with God’s help.
33. Today I will focus on the Gospel words, Enter ye in at the strait gate (Mt. 7:13), and set myself a rule to combat my vanity, no matter what it manifests itself in, even in small things, for there are no trifles in spiritual life.
34. Today I will ask myself the question: “What kind of person does Christ want me to be?” To answer I will need to open the Gospel, and the “book” of my conscience.
35. Very soon on Christmas Eve the faithful in churches will sing: “Understand all ye nations, and submit yourselves, for God is with us.” I will try to determine by which sin I give special rights to the devil over me (The words of St. Paisios the Hagiorite). Isn’t it time to destroy his stronghold in my heart? So, I will try to throw off his power over me by renouncing this sin.
36. Today, after walking three-quarters of the path, I’ll look around and think about how zealously I have walked. And then I will ask myself what and how I should do for the rest of the path to offer my modest gifts to Christ. What will I offer Him instead of gold, frankincense and myrrh? The faith demonstrated by life according to the Gospel? Works on purification of my soul? Active love for others? Fervent and warm prayer? In the remaining days I can at least start, and the Lord will help me finish what I have started.
37. Today I will think about what I can offer Christ in place of incense. “A hymn like incense,” as sung in the stichera before the Nativity. Therefore, these days I will try to make my prayer full of thanksgiving, heartfelt longing for God and warm love.
38. Today I will think about what I can offer Christ in place of gold. “Faith like gold.” A living and vivifying faith, a faith expressed by life according to the Word of the One in Whom I believe. At least I will offer the first fruits of such faith: I believe; help Thou mine unbelief (Mk. 9:24).
39. Today I will think about what I can offer Him instead of myrrh. “Love like myrrh.” Christ loved us so much that He sacrificed Himself for us, and this path begins with the cave in Bethlehem. Therefore, I will give thanks to Him for His love for me with my mouth, heart and good deeds.
40. Today I will have a day of active charity. I will feed the hungry Christ and clothe Him, and I will send Him food and clothes through those who need them. I will find those for whom I can make the coming feast brighter and for whom I can create it.
41. I will meet Christ at church, worship Him and partake of His Body and Blood, and then ask Him that my heart become His abode forever.
