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On RepentanceFather Kyrik was an experienced practitioner of the prayer of the heart and edified his spiritual children primarily through his own example.Now let us talk about Confession to a spiritual father. We must confess before him sincerely, with humility, without concealing sins, without excuses, but with self-condemnation, with the intention to correct our life with the help of God’s grace and to stay away from the causes of sin.
On ConfessionThe main thing in Confession is that the grace of the Holy Spirit is at work there.Moreover, we must firmly believe in our Lord Jesus Christ’s labor on the Cross before His Heavenly Father, and that He tore up our sins on the Cross and gave us great mercy—which we don’t deserve. And we must not only believe that our properly confessed sins are forgiven at the moment that the spiritual father reads the prayer of absolution over the penitent, but we must also believe that at this very moment the grace of the Holy Spirit enters our soul, strengthening us in the struggle against the passions. Therefore, with proper confession and the faith of the penitent, who must be in full agreement with the spiritual father and humbly fulfill the penance given by him, sinful passions will not grow stronger, but will diminish and completely disappear.
And before going to your spiritual father, say to yourself before God: “Lord, help me repent sincerely,” meaning that without the grace of the Holy Spirit we’re unable to repent as we should. Then you have to recall how your time was spent from your last confession to the present time. And also remember whether there were any sins that were said at your previous confession—whether out of forgetfulness or shame—and you must now tell them to your spiritual father. In general, it’s necessary to confess those sins that were committed since your last confession, while those sins that were committed and confessed at your last confession and weren’t repeated needn’t be confessed again to your spiritual father, because they’ve already been forgiven by God and won’t be remembered by Him at the Dread Judgment. Such is the power of the Sacrament of Confession!
On Trusting Your Spiritual FatherAt a meeting of the sisterhood of St. Elisabeth Convent in Minsk, the nuns shared their experiences about how to maintain trust in your spiritual father.However, one of the conditions for receiving forgiveness of sins from God is that we ourselves must forgive our neighbors the offenses committed against us; for the Lord says: If ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses (Mt. 6:15). And the holy Apostle John said: Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer (1 Jn. 3:15), like satan. For the constant feeling of repentance alone, we can be saved, because the remembrance of repentance doesn’t allow the will to sin. But there are cases when those who are at enmity may forgive each other in person, yet they can’t get over or forget their feelings of resentment. One of them says: “I forgive him everything, but I don’t want to meet with him and see him.” This is a kind of resentment, and when this man stands up for prayer, he involuntarily remembers and envisions his offender before him. For him even prayer is a sin, and is unacceptable to God. The wrath of God descends upon those who do such things and the resentful one is given over into the hands of satan. Resentment comes from the fact that we haven’t forgiven our offender from the heart. The Lord tells us to forgive one another from our hearts.
What does “from the heart” mean? It means that we not only forgive our offender and don’t resist him, but neither do we remember the former offense or tell anyone about it. This is what it means to forgive from the heart. And what should we do when we involuntarily recall an offense even after it’s been forgiven? How can we expel from our heart the memory of this offense that simply won’t leave our mind? As we can’t properly be reconciled without the help of God, and without spiritual peace our soul will perish, we must, if necessary, entreat God’s grace-filled help to restore our spiritual peace. And in order to achieve this, it’s absolutely necessary to pray to the God of peace for your offender with the following words: “Lord, save and help Thy servant (name) and help me by his holy prayers!” After such a prayer, the offender himself will come to you first and ask your forgiveness, and then by the grace of the Holy Spirit, mutual spiritual peace will be restored, over which our holy guardian angels rejoice, while the demons envy and weep.
St. Ephraim the Syrian says: “If a man dies in enmity, the demons will remove his soul from his body with tridents and drag him straight to hell!”… There was a case like this in the Kiev Caves Lavra. Hieromonk Titus and Hierodeacon Evagry had an argument and didn’t want to reconcile. So when the one was censing the brethren standing in church, the other left the place where he was to pass by with the censer; this continued for quite some time. Finally, Hieromonk Titus got sick and was near death. He asked the brethren to bring Heirodeacon Evagry so he could bid him farewell before death, but Evagry said he didn’t want to see Hieromonk Titus—not just in this life, but in the future life as well. Then the brethren forcibly brought Evagry to the perishing Heiromonk Titus. But here Evagry repeated the same words as before, unwilling to forgive the offense inflicted on him by Fr. Titus. Аs soon as Evagry repeated these words in the presence of the dying Fr. Titus and the brethren, the Archangel Michael appeared and stabbed Hierodeacon Evagry with a spear. He fell and died instantly, and at the same moment, the dying Hieromonk Titus arose from his bed completely healthy. He saw the archangel pierce Evagry’s chest with the spear, and demons taking his soul from his body with tridents and dragging it to the bottom of hell! This is how dangerous lack of discernment is—one minute of unreason can ruin both temporal and eternal life forever! The tongue of anyone who considers himself a sinner won’t condemn another. Clinging to “self-righteousness,” the wretched Evagry forgot this Patristic saying. But may this story serve as a moral lesson for us, as says Holy Scripture: Prove all things; hold fast that which is good (1 Thess. 5:21); live with all fear lest you anger God and destroy yourself.
The Kiev Caves Lavra, the Monastery of Sts. Anthony and TheodosiusOn the right bank of the Dnieper River, the unsurpassed Kiev-Pechersk Lavra shines from afar, in the Pechersk district of Kiev, which is the oldest district of the capital.There are people of God who don’t know what to say in Confession, or they say: “I’m a sinner, like everyone,” or: “I’m a sinner, guilty of all sins”—this is slander against themselves, which is also a great sin.
And sometimes those confessing name sins, even serious ones, that they didn’t do, thinking they’re doing so for greater humility. However, this is slander against yourself, which is also a great sin, because in accepting it, a spiritual father has to trouble God’s mercy to forgive the “penitent,” whereas we mustn’t ask for miracles from God unnecessarily. Such people need to think about themselves before Confession, to remember how they spent their time since their last confession. And above all, the penitent should ask God’s grace-filled help for himself, saying: “Lord, help me repent sincerely!” Then go to your spiritual father for Confession and humbly tell him what you’ve done, and speak to your spiritual father not as a man, but as to God Himself, Who is here invisibly, watching with what disposition you confess your sins. Your disposition should be thus: contrite in heart and spirit, grieving primarily about having angered your Lord and Creator and having harmed both your neighbor and yourself, while having a firm intention, with God’s help, not to repeat previous sins and to avoid new ones, removing the causes of sin from yourself. When there are no causes, there will be no sin, as sins are the consequences of causes, which is what every man wishing to please the Lord—his Creator—must direct all his attention to.
There are also people of God who weep during Confession, but not because they’ve angered God, but from shame and self-love, as if to say, how could such a sin happen to them? How will they appear in the eyes of others? There are also such people who, not wanting to give up a particular passion or habit, instead do good deeds with the thought that God will therefore forgive the sins that they have no intention of giving up; but they deceive themselves, the poor things! Whoever does this dies suddenly without repentance and perishes forever as an unrepentant sinner. For the Lord said: Except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish (Lk. 13:3). God wants to save everyone, is ready to forgive everyone, but only those who repent. God is ready to forgive even the demons, if only they would repent.
This is confirmed by the story about how one day a demon appeared to St. Anthony the Great in the form of a man. He went up to the window of the saint’s cell and wept bitterly, calling himself cursed, a great sinner, and asked St. Anthony to pray to God for the forgiveness of his sins. The saint pitied him and told the weeping man: “Okay, I’ll pray to God for you, then come back in three days and I’ll tell you what God tells me about you.” During prayer, the Lord said to St. Anthony: “Anthony! Do you know whom you’re praying for? It’s not a man, but a demon.” St. Anthony then said bitterly: “Lord! Why didn’t You tell me before?” And the Lord replied, “I didn’t tell you before so it would be known that I’m ready to forgive even the demons if they repent,” and He added, “When that supposed man comes to you, tell him: ‘God is ready to forgive you on condition that you face east and stand in one place for three years crying out: ‘Lord, forgive me, the ancient evil one!’’” Having heard this condition from St. Anthony, the supposed man said to the saint: “I already knew that even without you, but we’re not ready to repent!” Then he laughed loudly and instantly disappeared from before the face of St. Anthony.
We must always carry within ourselves a sense of inadequacy before God for the infirmity of our nature, that is, comparing what God has promised in the future blessed life with how little we think about, even completely forget it because of our weakness. Therefore, with a contrite spirit and a humble heart, we must have a vivid realization of the majesty of the Godhead and our insignificance. This feeling is one of humility, and the opposite is a feeling of self-satisfaction, a feeling of pride. The proud won’t inherit the Kingdom of Heaven—only the repentant, the humble will receive it. The feeling of humility replaces ascetic labors, but the proud will perish even with ascetic labors. Thus, without repentance there is no salvation for anyone! The Lord says: Except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish (Lk. 13:3). Lord, save us from such destruction by the prayers of Your Most Pure Mother, but save us by whatever ways You know, directing us to the path of repentance. So, ending the discourse on repentance, let us move on to the subject of prayer.
On the Proper Approach to PrayerBefore prayer, we have to attune ourselves for piety, that is, to think about who we are and Who is He with Whom we want to talk?
