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External, visible, bodily sins are most often manifestations of internal sinful states, or are directly connected with them. In the example of fornication, which is a coarse external sin, we have seen how everything in fact begins with simple thoughts, which over time develop into a serious spiritual problem if they are not rejected at their inception. Every sin, therefore, is usually preceded by a simple thought, depending on a person’s particular weakness. If there is no habit of cutting off such thoughts, they gradually grow and develop, eventually enslaving the person.
Sinful thoughts are confessed concisely during confession, to the extent necessary for the priest to discern the state of the soul—that is, what the mind of the person is struggling with and the measure of success or failure in that struggle. Here it should be especially emphasized that so-called blasphemous thoughts (indescribable thoughts related to the Lord Jesus Christ, the Mother of God, the Saints…) are confessed in a very simple manner as blasphemous, without any description whatsoever, since they are not truly ours but are imposed by the enemy of our salvation in order to cast us into despair and despondency. Moreover, as the watchful Fathers observe, the very fact that such thoughts disturb us deeply and produce an unpleasant feeling in us already indicates that they are an external suggestion, which we should simply reject and not accept, lest at some point they become our own.
In the matter of internal sinful states, the fundamental problem lies in distraction and inattention on the one hand, and in the lack of noetic prayer on the other. This classical combination of spiritual laxity enables sin to grow within us and to imperceptibly occupy ever greater portions of the inner space of our being. If, in addition, there is carelessness and a lack of discernment, then sin gains a wide field in which to operate.
Given all that has been said, it is particularly striking that we usually fail to perceive our own inner desolation, yet we often presume to judge the inner sinful disposition of others. The reason is clear: We are negligent in prayer, hurried and distracted, and therefore we do not properly see our own inner state. Here a seeming paradox arises—the more a person advances in the purification of the soul, the more sins he perceives within himself, and vice versa. This, however, should not surprise us; on a clean wall even a small stain is clearly visible, whereas on a wall already covered with graffiti one may add as much dirt as one wishes and little will stand out. Thus, our own state of spiritual laxity, manifested primarily in inattention and distraction, often leads us into sins of thought.
If our mind were to invoke more frequently the most powerful Name, with the words Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, we would crush sin at the very level of the initial suggestion, and it would have no opportunity to develop further, but would instead melt like wax before the fire (as it is said in the prayer to the Holy Cross). Unfortunately, since we are generally not in a state of attentive prayer, we chronically suffer under the tyranny of thoughts, which swarm in our mind like bees in a hive—this being a primary indication that the mind is not functioning as it should. Such a condition must certainly be confessed, and one should seek healing from a spiritual father, who will introduce us to the method of noetic prayer in a spirit of repentance.
Since we already struggle with prayer, we should ask ourselves whether we also struggle with faith. To begin with, each of us should examine whether we sincerely and firmly believe and confess as the Orthodox Church believes and confesses, or whether we believe according to our own personal notions. This is important, because everything begins with faith, including our ethical life, however often we may be unaware of it. Therefore, if there is weak faith (that is, doubt in the truths of Orthodoxy, in the power of God, or in divine providence) or false belief (heterodox thinking), such a condition must be recognized and confessed. Likewise, if we believe correctly but are ungrateful to God or blaspheme His Name in times of distress, we also commit a sin that must be confessed.
A particular problem in this domain is the betrayal of God through the acceptance or practice of various superstitions. There exists a multitude of superstitious habits by which God is betrayed: from reading coffee grounds and horoscopes (which many regard as harmless entertainment, but which in fact constitute a primitive superstition incompatible with Orthodoxy), to visiting various gurus, psychics, sorcerers, fortune-tellers, and practitioners of so-called white or black magic, all the way to the use of so-called “imam’s charms” (which are themselves a forbidden practice even among Muslims). All of the above is absolutely unacceptable for Christians and represents nothing other than an act of spiritual betrayal, which as such must be bitterly lamented, promptly confessed, and never repeated. Unfortunately, most people have no awareness whatsoever of the depth of the fall in such cases, nor of the fact that by engaging in such superstitions they effectively renounce the true faith. This kind of betrayal is especially grave if a person lives a liturgical life—for how can one even conceive of reconciling such sins with participation in the Divine Liturgy and communion in the Holy Mysteries of Christ?
It is also necessary to mention the increasingly widespread use of meditative techniques originating in the Far East, which, simply put, are not compatible with Orthodox spirituality. For example, in the case of practicing the meditative system of yoga, a Christian finds himself in a kind of schizophrenic spiritual state—he employs a method that is fundamentally anthropocentric (rather than Christocentric) and thereby drives away the grace of God instead of steadily acquiring it. Moreover, various meditative “states” may over time lead to serious spiritual delusions (collectively referred to as prelest), since the practitioner lacks the experience necessary to distinguish between created and uncreated energies—something that can have very grave spiritual consequences. If, in addition, these Far Eastern meditative techniques are combined with the philosophical-religious traditions upon which they are founded (such as ideas of intellectual union with the cosmos or with an impersonal Absolute), then one arrives at a spiritual fall equivalent to classical idolatry and an open betrayal of the True God. All such delusive states and experiences, if present, must be confessed in repentance, and the aforementioned meditative practices must be abandoned and replaced with noetic prayer within the liturgical life of the Church.
In considering the topic of internal sinful states that are not externally visible, particular attention should be given to two sins that inevitably assail each of us: pride and self–love (egoism). These two sins are by far the most dangerous and, at the same time, the most insidious enemies of our spiritual health. Moreover, this “duo” stands in direct opposition to humility and love—where pride and self-love reign, there is no humility or love, and conversely, where true humility and love prevail, these sins simply have no place. For this reason, we must struggle against pride and self-love without mercy, until they are eradicated: either they will endure, or our spiritual health will.
Let us begin with pride, our chief enemy among the passions. It is a grave spiritual illness in which a person places himself at the center of the world, exalts himself above others, and becomes both his own idol and a mental obsession to himself. There are, moreover, various forms of pride. The most easily recognizable is the pride of falsely so-called reason, which particularly affects those who possess knowledge in certain fields, hold high titles, are renowned for something, or are simply talented, and thus come to hold an excessively elevated opinion of themselves. Yet even simple and uneducated people may suffer from pride, though this form is more difficult to detect (it may be discerned, to some extent, through external sins such as the habit of judging others). A particularly severe form of pride afflicts those who possess virtues but lack humility, and therefore hold an exceedingly high opinion of themselves in a spiritual sense. From pride there directly proceed various sinful states, which should likewise be confessed if they are present. Among these are arrogance, conceit, narcissism, haughtiness, vanity, insolence, boldness, mockery, contempt, and oversensitivity to offence.
One might ask: Is pride, with all its derivatives, truly a greater sin than murder? Let us respond: if pride were not the root, would there be murder at all? History is replete with proud, arrogant, vain, and audacious leaders who imagined themselves above others and, as such, led entire nations into catastrophic mass destruction (the two World Wars are a classic example). On the other hand, there is no known example of a humble ruler who initiated wars of conquest or tyrannized his own people. Therefore, pride is the most grievous illness, which must be treated uncompromisingly, for it is the foundation of the most serious sins. Admittedly, there are times when we fail to recognize pride within ourselves (especially if we possess certain virtues or are zealous, and are thereby carried away); yet this is precisely why the role of the spiritual father is indispensable—he can discern our pride when we ourselves cannot, and thus guide the healing of our spiritual wounds.
Self-love (egoism) is the second, equally dangerous sin that regularly assails us. We have all, from childhood, become accustomed to this sin, when those around us placed us in the role of being the center of the world (a child-centered mentality, especially in our time, exacts a heavy toll), teaching us that it is natural for all manner of gifts to be offered to us, from toys and sweets to attention and applause. Later, as adults, we become further habituated to this pattern through the framework of consumer society, in which everything is tailored to our needs and preferences, since, as consumers, we have become the focus of corporate attention (not because corporations love us, but because they seek profit from us). Thus we grow accustomed to self-love as to a warm bath. The most troubling aspect is that we sometimes mistake self-love for genuine love, imagining that we love others when in fact we love only ourselves, forgetting that true love is always sacrificial in character. The sin of self-love also manifests itself in various forms, including selfishness, self-centeredness, self-pity, self-justification, stubbornness, and self-will. It goes without saying that we must examine ourselves in light of each of these sinful states, and if we recognize them within ourselves, confess them.
Self-love is somewhat easier to recognize than pride for one simple reason: it is felt directly by those who live with us. How many marriages have collapsed because spouses were unwilling to struggle against egoism, each seeking only what was his or her own? In this regard, it has been rightly observed that the principal cause of the breakdown of contemporary Christian marriages lies in the unwillingness of spouses to struggle against their own passions (we emphasize: their own, not those of the other). Among these passions, egoism often occupies the foremost place, which is why it must be resisted with all one’s strength, as in the case of pride. As a beginning, one might at least serve the members of one’s household, learn to rejoice in their joys and to grieve in their sorrows, until in time we ourselves become their joy (through selfless giving) and cease to be their sorrow (through selfish infliction of pain).
A frequent companion of pride and self-love is envy, which, let us recall, was the cause of the first murder in the history of mankind, when Cain slew his brother Abel (cf. Gen. 4:3–8). There is scarcely a person who has not at least once experienced envy or succumbed to it. Interestingly, very few are willing to admit that they suffer from it. Like self-love, envy has its roots in early childhood, when we envy a brother or sister for having a larger toy, a classmate for success at school, or a teammate for achieving a better result in sport. Indeed, if we believe that we are free from this passion, let us ask ourselves the following: Why do we not sincerely rejoice in the success of our neighbor as in our own? The reason is envy and nothing else. It is sometimes accompanied by malicious joy, a particular spiritual ailment manifested as a strange and unhealthy inner satisfaction at another’s misfortune.
Another frequent companion of pride, self-love, and envy is vainglory, that is, the desire for human, empty glory, which manifests itself as the need to be recognized, respected, and seen (in our time: to be “followed” on social media). This passion also includes its indirect manifestations, such as the love of honor (the desire to receive special recognition), boasting (the inclination to display one’s achievements before others), and the striving for precedence, which the Lord Himself pointed out to His disciples and apostles as a worldly temptation incompatible with the perspective of the Kingdom of God (cf. Mark 10:35–45).
There is yet another serious internal passion, which has become especially widespread in our time and must certainly be mentioned in confession if it is recognized. This is avarice, which consists in an insatiable thirst for acquisition and enrichment. Avarice was the illness of Judas the betrayer, who, failing to recognize it, ultimately betrayed his Lord for thirty pieces of silver (cf. Matt. 26:15). This passion should not be confused with the natural need to increase material goods and to manage one’s household responsibly. It is something quite different—avarice is a form of idolatry that places the acquisition of money at the forefront of life, even above God, which is clearly evident in the occupation of one’s thoughts with the pursuit of wealth, to the extent that it burdens even one’s prayer. Because of its destructive effect on the soul, the Apostle Paul calls avarice the root of all evils (1 Tim. 6:10). Avarice is closely accompanied by greed and acquisitiveness, while its other “companions” include people-pleasing, flattery, and sycophancy, as these serve as indirect means of attaining wealth or positions of power.
Where pride, self-love, envy, avarice, and vainglory are present, hatred easily takes root as well. It is a particularly grave spiritual wound. If we openly hate someone, can we truly be called servants of Christ? For the Lord calls us to love even our enemies (cf. Matt. 5:44), in the sense of sincerely desiring their salvation, as He Himself did from the Cross (cf. Luke 23:34). The opposite of hatred is love, which is the surest mark of a healthy soul. Here we arrive at the central point of our reflection—if the two greatest commandments are to love God with all our being and to love our neighbor as ourselves (cf. Matt. 22:37–39; Mark 12:30–31), then our greatest sin is precisely that we do not possess such a measure of love. He who has My commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves Me (John 14:21), says the Lord, giving us a clear criterion by which we may assess whether we truly love God. On the other hand, in the parable of the Good Samaritan (cf. Luke 10:25–37), we are given a clear framework for evaluating whether we possess genuine love for our neighbor. Does any one of us fulfil these measures? Hardly anyone. And have we ever confessed that we lack sufficient true love for God and for our neighbor? Here is an opportunity to reflect deeply and to consider what our essential sin is—the one from which all our sufferings proceed.
At the end of this list of sins, let us say something about despair. It is a grave sinful state in which many have lost their souls, ultimately even raising their hand against themselves—the example of Judas Iscariot is the most tragic (cf. Matt. 27:3–5). Despair is preceded by states of hopelessness, faint-heartedness, excessive sorrow, and despondency. All these conditions must be confessed without fail if they are present, and help should be sought from a spiritual father, in order to prevent the final outcome of despair, which through suicidal thoughts may lead a person to eternal destruction.
A person may fall into despair due to the loss of health, family problems, or the collapse of one’s work. Yet especially grievous is the state in which one despairs because of a serious sin, believing that there is no salvation for him. Therefore, let us remember well that even if we have committed every sin, even if we are the most sinful of all people, we must never allow ourselves to fall into despair—the mercy of God is immeasurably greater than all our sins, and God is always ready to forgive us, provided that we, for our part, are ready to offer Him active repentance. If we fall into any sin, let us repent as quickly as possible and confess before a priest, so that we may receive spiritual consolation and the strength to move forward again, towards Christ. If the Lord God would have forgiven even Judas the betrayer had he sincerely repented and sought forgiveness, He will surely forgive us as well, if we possess sincere repentance, are ready to confess our sins openly, and are prepared to struggle against them to the very end.
Finally, bearing in mind that the first man to enter Paradise was the repentant thief (cf. Luke 23:42–43), let us also cry out to the Lord with the words Remember me, O Lord, in Thy Kingdom, and let us sincerely have recourse to the Holy Mystery of repentance and confession, without doubting for a single moment the mercy of God. If we act in this way, God will receive us into His fatherly embrace (cf. Luke 15:11–32) and lead us into eternal joy.
Glory and praise to our God!
