Divorces are a real disaster of our times. Broken lives, the loss of any hope of building personal happiness, unhappy children who are very likely to imitate the behavior pattern of adults, the inevitable diminishing of the role of family and family values in the society—these are the most evident consequences of divorces.
he task of family as “the little church” is the same as that of the universal Church—to enter into the Kingdom of God the Father together. It is not without reason that the apostle Paul says: Charity never faileth (1 Cor. 13:8). An attribute of true love is that it lasts forever.
Archpriest Paul Gumerov speaks about how family roles should be distributed, who should be the head, what are the responsibilities of husbands and wives, what a wife should do if her husband doesn’t want to take responsibility for the welfare of his family, and how husbands can become true husbands.
Why is it necessary to get crowned in the Church? What is the symbolism of the rings and crowns? Why do the bride and groom stand facing east during the crowning? What does the phrase “to love as you love yourself” mean? What is the proper understanding of the words: “A wife should fear her husband?”
What helps to overcome difficulties in the first year of marriage? What habits should become the norm? Is it worth it to fear conflicts? How should we build relationships with our parents? And why should we study psychology? Archpriest Paul Gumerov speaks on all of this in this installment of our conversation.
The first conversation in the cycle is devoted to problems that young men and women ask themselves as they consider marriage: what is the purpose of marriage from the point of view of a Christian, how to choose a partner in life, whether to blindly succumb to the feeling of infatuation, whether they should necessarily get married, and whether marriage with the heterodox and others is possible for an Orthodox Christian.
Not long ago I heard about an incident that once shook America and became known far beyond the borders of the United States. This story took place in 2004 in a small town in Colorado. This episode inspired me to turn once again to the theme of anger and our struggle with it.
I have witnessed the happy resolution of a very serious, pre-divorce, critical family situation more than once, and remarked that as a rule, when the spouses really succeed in getting out of this situation, they succeed in falling in love with each other again, they begin life all over again and forget all their resentments, they leave all their negative baggage behind, and they build their relationships anew, using the sad experience that they had.
Once a certain priest went to visit the now reposed elder Archpriest Nicholai Guryanov and told him about the sorrows and problems he was having. Fr. Nicholai heard him out and said, “Rejoice!” “What is there to rejoice about?” The priest thought to himself.
Let us begin with an explanation of the word, chastity. In Russian, the word is tselomudrie, which means literally, "integrity of thought," and consists not only in physical preservation (one can remain a virgin in body, but commit terrible acts of depravity in the mind; and to the contrary—one can live in a pious marriage and preserve his or her soul from sin), but also in a proper, wholesome, undisturbed view of the opposite sex, with purity of soul.